Channelling our Inner Grandmothers - The GREAT PAUSE of 2020
As I sit here the sun has not quite made an appearance for the day. Up with the sounds of the birds, greeting me as if to say, “welcome to a new day!” We are about to enter week 7 of the Covid – 19 restrictions, and I have to say I am grateful my inner granny has come out to play. I now have time to sip my morning tea and reflect on the day. Tea was a daily ritual for both of my grandmothers. As a child I didn’t understand the value of tea time but now I see in many ways it was an opportunity to rest, reflect and reset.
With the ups and downs of this unpredictable ride, I have noticed my inner knowing has grown louder each day. It has been a time of embracing the simple, slowing down in many ways and being present with what today brings. I can’t help but feel like my grandmother’s wisdom is helping me through this transition. I find myself wondering what would Nana have done? Noticing that I seem to sound just like my Granny! Able to clearly discern when my children need pure unconditional love or if they need a stern talking to about their behaviour or attitude. Holding strong to my convictions as a parent and knowing what is true, loving and good about my children. Sure there have been moments of pure madness, but many beautiful memories too.
I have embraced a new level of clarity in my parenting and have found myself feeling more confident and grateful by the day. So much of the daily noise has been lifted, and it no longer holds me victim to constant distraction. The carpool schedules, costume deadlines or fun lunch orders for school are no longer on my radar. Managing play dates, registering for swim lessons, or planning for summer camps and activities don’t even enter my mental space. My calendar is full of white space, and I look forward to the one event in it to remind me I have a Zoom call with a dear friend. It is as if I have been somehow teleported to a simpler time with all the benefits of modern-day life.
Our grandparents & great grandparents did not have the luxuries and comforts of our current day lives while they were raising children. No dishwashers, laundry facilities, or indoor plumbing, let alone husbands who loved to cook! No more outsourcing to others for home, yard or childcare. Doing it all or most of it, like my grandmothers would have done. I wonder what it must have been like to parent during a World War, or the worry they experienced as a parent during the great depression?
Today I feel as though I am able to embrace the wisdom of my elders with all the comforts of 2020. I have had the chance to sit with my grandmothers’ energy. In many ways it feels like this time at home has given us permission to lean into a simpler time, like that of the past.
Modern tech has made it possible for me to keep in touch with friends and loved ones. Research that tidbit or fact I just learned, or take a new online course to enhance my work in the world. My grandmothers didn’t have these luxuries and their lives were more strained in many ways.
I have leaned into homeschooling by sharing basic life skills and experiences with the abundance of time we have been granted. Teaching my kids to bake from scratch, and employing daily chores for all them. Pulling out a 1000-piece puzzle that took our entire family three weeks to complete. Daily walks, hikes in the nearby woods, or sledding trips through the trees. A little greenhouse now sits in my dining room with new buds and growth each day. The kids tend to it and relish in the magic of new sprouts. The kids head out to play with the instructions not to come back for at least an hour, stay together, be safe, and don’t go too far! Praying that they are able to safely climb down from that tree on their own. Fresh cinnamon buns, muffins, or cookies always line the counter ready for a homemade snack. My sink is always full of dirty dishes from the last baking event. And learning to cut my children’s hair is the newest addition to my ever-growing repertoire of things to celebrate.
In some ways I am eager for a break from our daily routine, as at times it feels so mundane. In other ways I feel a bit unhinged at the thought of “going back to normal”. Feeling like we have made so much progress, by somehow going backwards in these last 7 weeks. I am concerned about the overwhelm to keep up with it all if things “go back to normal”. Was it really so “normal” to feel so overloaded with to-do lists, meetings, commitments, obligations, and expectations? Is this version of “normal” the cause of burn out, anxiety, depression, and illness? Had we labelled something as “normal” only because so many people were experiencing it? What makes something normal? Does sharing common suffering make it” normal”? I am ready for a new normal!
I am taking this time to be as present as possible, embrace the good, the bad & the ugly of this experience and take stock of what really brings value and ease to my life. My hope is that I can take what I have learned from this experience and hold on to it as we enter a new normal, post Covid-19. My wish is that a simpler, more meaningful way of life is here to stay. I wonder if we will look back on this time and might call it the GREAT PAUSE of 2020?